SIX
U6-P1
Are there worlds in which I find grounding and don’t sink into the floor because the reality I found on the ground was too heavy?
I am not made for this. What kind of creation is sustained on absences and voids? An inability to comprehend all of space does not make it empty.
We are compressed here. And God hasn’t even exhaled yet.
*********
A moment of panic. A program. A pill that’s hard to swallow. A persistent effort to pull me from the depths of my own pity. Or maybe deeper into it. Please.
If you choose to ignore that you have suffered once the pain has passed, who can you blame but yourself for repeating cycles from your past? It’s still there. You are trying to forget it. Pointless.
My pinky finger says talk. My shoulder says grieve. My back says I have laid in places where I cannot rest.
Yet here I am. Silent. Stoic. Pretending. A master of illusion. My own delusion.
*********
What will be gained there? A repetition? A rectification? A reflection? Are you in a loop, a spiral, or a mirror? This is not an abyss, but that doesn’t make it an ascension. Perhaps, there is only suspension until you decide.
She who asks questions must not be afraid to answer. She who answers must be willing to face questions.
*********
Are you heartbroken? No. You’re reality-facing. There is no time here for stressing over how your truth will be received. There is only your truth and the Truth it reveals. Nothing to lose. Everything to gain. Perception must not be mortifying. Merely acknowledged. You choose what to do with how you’re perceived.
U6-P2
There is no peace here. Only swords. And I am trying to remember where I laid down my armor. Was it in defeat? Or merely under the misguided delusion that a war will not be waged if I deny its existence?
This is not the time to lay down arms. It never was. This is not a new war. The enemies never stopped their occupation. Only changed their uniforms.
This is not a time to lay down arms, but I must lay down if I wish to survive.
*********
In what world
do I witness
the plunder
of my peace
and call it
anything but
war?
I have been
pleading
appeasing
apiece-ing
myself as if
I could
convince the
ones who know
that this is not
destruction.
Of course
they don’t believe
me. I don’t
believe myself.
The flowers on
my altars droop
every time I
choose to stay
in that loop.
U6-P8
From the beginning, it was all about accessing that secret place. All about getting where you were not invited to go. Remember when I created that boundary. Remember when I was explicit about lines that wouldn’t be crossed.
And then we fiercely started hacking away at a wall that was there for our own good. Now what do we do with the wasteland we have found on the other side?
Perhaps the fire that swallowed everything beautiful has made it fertile for something new to grow. Just a little seed now. Just a little water now. Just a little care.
U6-P9
Understand the fears that come,
not as guides, but as reminders.
I have traveled through and over
to realities I imagined, sought,
yearned for. The fear must go.
Faithfully is the way forward and
inward. Not with doubt, only trust,
everything is working in my favor;
laughter is my birthright; and joy
demands my company. I go to it.
Someone holds my hand, even
on the days when I know little,
understand nothing, cannot even
remember a dream. It comes when
called, but never before its time to be.
Elevation calls for utmost patience,
collecting the waves that toss me,
owning the mirror images, holding
nothing but space as the pressure
needs a balance. This is how I get
expansion. There is room for it all.
Calm comes with the acceptance.
The Current carries every fear, too.